Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me...no more.

I wrote this about 2 or 3 yrs ago however feel the sentiment still rings true.

In fairy tales, we read of poor unfortunate women beginning whisked
away by Prince Charming to a life of love, pleasure and ease. In
movies we see men overcoming all odds to find the woman they are meant
to be with and loving them at first sight or first spoken word. This
is not romance nor love to me.

People joke because I don't accept gifts from guys – they tell me "hey
it's just a shirt why not take it?" or even better "but how cool
would it be to have a new tv?" I live a life full of theories. I
believe a gift has to be proportional to the amount of time spent with
the person (1 month does not constitute a new TV) and how much the
person cares for you. If those to factors aren't right, something is
wrong. Yes, I love receiving gifts but not because of the gift but
because of the emotion and thought put into it.

Moving on – Romance and love are not instant. It can not be
manufactured nor manipulated. It takes time. Patience. Knowledge.
To me, romance comes from love that is brewed over time. Yes, there
are romantic moments from the beginning of all relationships. But in
the end what I am looking for is someone who knows me…inside out – my
little quirks. What do I do when I am thinking? Or when I am
nervous? What are my goals…do you plan on helping me achieve them as
I plan on helping you? Can you tell when I am uncomfortable and try
to get me out of those situations? Are you willing to put yourself on
the back burner when needs be because heaven knows I will.

Romance isn't about big grand gestures – it's the little, tedious, day
in and day out activities that show love. Anyone can buy clothes,
flowers, electronics, jewelry – but it takes someone who loves with a
true love that is willing accept my flaws – someone who knows that I
love food from road side vendors and is willing to take the risk to
enjoy it with me – someone who when I am sick is there still doing all
of his responsibilities but also taking on some of mine – someone who
loves my smile and is willing to do anything to see it. And that, my
friends, is your challenge – make me smile and I am yours.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Meandering Musings

With a lifetime of lessons bearing upon my shoulders, I woke up this morning with an intense desire to write. As many may know, I write on a regular basis, but rarely ever share those intimate thoughts. Why not start? Or should I say start again? Back to the lessons - this past year has been interesting, as my life has taken a course of its own and though I am in control, I found it intensely satisfying to let go of the reins and see where I was led. In doing such, I have learned much. Some of those lessons I will freely share however there are some poignant thoughts that will remain solely mine.
Be patient as I ramble through thoughts and hope it finds some sort of direction and meaning.
About a month ago I had the pleasure of going to dinner with a friend, we spoke of writing and he mentioned a few lines he had jotted down recently. One stuck out to me and left me with such an impression that I pondered it and really took in the imagery it left me with. I hope he forgives me for making reference to it however without the quote you will not understand the lessons I gleaned from it.
"Time exacts no returns, and opportunity remains a premium of the ticking clock" A. Wood
As he uttered those words to me I automatically was struck with awe as all I could envision was an old Grandfather clock, the pendulum swinging to mark the seconds and the gong to mark the hour. For the week after, my thoughts enclosed upon that clock and how it represented my life. The pendulum being the day in and day out tedium of our lives, what there is to be done with no question - we move back and forth to accomplish the needs of our day. What struck me most though was the gong - I picture that gong to either be the death toll of another day in my life wasted to meaningless actions and motions of nothingness or that of a celebrating chorus reminding me to come out and appreciate that I took full advantage of all the opportunities presented to me within any given time. Fortunately, my life has held both actions and for that I know there are still much more I must learn.
I look forward to this upcoming year to do such.